Friday, April 3, 2009


Each day I think I'm doing better, then I just meltdown. This evening was bad. I left messages but he wouldn't return them. Probably best. I want to do an autopsy on the marriage and it probably isn't healthy, but I have so many questions! I really appreciate the comments from readers and mostly I guess I'm doing ok. I've cried myself to sleep more nights than I care to count. Fridays are bad, that was when we were both home for the weekend (he worked nights & I work days). People keep saying it takes a long time to get over, I cannot imagine going through this as often as I am now. I guess work is helping, because I have fewer meltdowns through the week. Maybe I should get a weekend job too. I've been writing a letter to him. I think it's about 10 pages front & back now and still going. Hopefully, after everything is said and done I'll publish it. Looking back, I'm wondering if there was some mental illness because of the mood swings. Of course the letter I'm writing probably could have me put in a rubber room! His anger had been escalating severely, there was no physical abuse, but the anger was difficult to take. Well, my stress reliever, among other things, is a bath so I think that's where I'm heading for the 2nd time today. Write more later, hopefully on a good day!


Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better. I know it's hard to see the silver lining at first but it gets easier. Hopefully you are now able to find the person that is out for YOU. I did and I have never been happier with anyone.

Good luck and I am hoping you are doing well.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the other anonymous poster. Find someone that loves you for you! Life is so much more wonderful! I hope you are well!