Losing my mind

Ok, I called him today. God help me, just seeing him driving by made me feel better for a while. I guess he didn't realize that it took so long to get a divorce in Virginia. He probably already had a girlfriend, before he even left, so where does that leave me? I feel completely worthless and that no one would want me. My beliefs will not allow me to see someone else until the divorce is final, if even then. I feel like I'll never get over this worthless feeling, like no one will ever want me again. All he seems to be worried about is the house & money. In case you cannot tell by these very depressing post - it's been a really bad week! Make that a bad month!

It's been too long

It has been too long for me to be completely incapacitated today. I feel so pathetic. I have been working, only missed 2-3 days, which includes attorney, dr and therapist appointments. (had to have bloodwork done to make sure he hadn't brought something home to me.) Thank goodness I have over 150 hrs of sick time and 2+ weeks of vacation built up at work. I have been freaking out since last night. I cannot quit crying. Not sure why it is hitting me now. Shouldn't this have happened the first week? He walked out on February 28th. I continued to work and seemed to do a good job, but today I've cried all day. I'm tired of crying, I hate to cry. I was so sleepy last night and was almost asleep when my eyes popped open and then all hell broke loose, within me. I feel so pathetic. I know he's not having these issues, so why am I? He is doing probably exactly what his attorney told him to, why can't I? I just want to hear his voice or get some kind of response. I thought forever was just that . . .forever! I waited until I was in my 30s to marry, thinking that I would be mature enough to be married. God help me, I was the worst kind of wrong. I really feel pathetic, especially since he probably has someone else keeping him company and he's not even thinking about me, but yet, he's all I can think of.