Day 5

Well, I still feel like this is a bad dream. I keep thinking I’ll wake up and it will all be over, he’ll be here and things will be ok. I haven’t been able to eat since it happened so on the bright side, I’ve lost 7 lbs. I know, that’s not good, but I really have been trying to lose weight (pre-meltdown, of course). The therapist told me to get some of the drink mixes with protein and could probably keep those down. I shake a lot. Feel very sick a lot. And just cannot seem to stop crying. Today I’m going to visit a lawyer. I’ve gotten referrals for several who are supposed to be good.

I’m trying not to contact him, because I know that would be the worst. I have more willpower now. Usually he just didn’t respond. The only time he did was when I started name calling. I couldn’t help it. Horrible snow and I was stuck here because he took the 4-wheel drive. Thank God mom and my nephew were here, they made it as bearable as possible.

He asked me to text him when I would not be working because he wants to come and see the pets while I’m at work. Also says he would like to clean up & wash clothes here at the house. I don’t suppose there is much way to stop that. That’s another thing I’ll talk to the attorney about.

I just feel awful and I don’t know how to stop it. Everyone says it will get easier, I hope it starts soon. I know it’s only been 5 days, but . . .

He's gone, just like that!

This post has been deleted per attorney advice. After it's all over, I'll publish my journal and how I survived, and I will survive! Thanks for all your support and great messages.

Every day is a new adventure!

Well, I was doing well losing weight until Thanksgiving. I gained a pound over the holiday. It was rather frustrating, but I did enjoy dinner! I’ve lost around 6 pounds, but it’s going very slowly!

I am attempting to get my license as a therapist and to fulfill the requirements I have to take 4 more classes. There were 2 classes from my masters that were not accepted. Ok, I can handle that. HA! I have contacted 5 colleges and only one seemed willing to provide information and assistance in identifying the classes I needed and when they are available. I am completely amazed! I will be paying $300 - $700 per credit hour, a total of 12 hours needed, and these people cannot answer simple questions. Can you imagine walking into a car dealership and asking what kind of gas mileage a particular car gets and being told “you will have to contact the department” (that’s what I was told!) What #$%ing department??? Would you feel confident buying a car from someone who could not find out the answer to what seems like a logical question? I checked with the department I assumed would offer the class I needed and it wasn’t offered, so I clicked where it said “for further information . . .” The one college that does want to provide information, costs $600 per hour and I’m not sure about accreditation (afraid to ask!). I think I’ve found a college that offers the classes I need online for about $400 per hour. It will be worth it, the agency I work for gives a 10% raise for licensure, and also I’ll be able to counsel online – my goal. I guess if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing, and I’m up for a challenge!

That’s my rant for the day, LOL! Very frustrating, but it WILL get done!

Well, this week wasn’t so good! You’d think when I get sick (cold, sinus, etc.) I wouldn’t eat. Nope, not me – I want to eat everything in sight! Also, when DH and I aren’t getting along, I eat. It took me 10 years to figure that one out. Doesn’t say much for my insight, does it? Now for the kicker – I’m a therapist!! Scary, huh?

This was a good sweeps week, though. I won a beautiful print by E McIsaac from Simply Sentimental; a $10.00 Amazon code from Bitten by Books Blog Carnival; and The Earthwise Herbal from dkmommyspot. That’s a great week! I actually went almost a year and only won $5.00 when I first started sweeping, but persistence has paid off! I haven’t hit a big cash prize yet, but I’ve won movies, a necklace and a $50.00 gift card. I’ve seen forums where people talk about winning cars, money and trips, so I know it can be done! Really! The forums I’m speaking of are on OLS – online-sweepstakes.com. It’s great! And the people there are so nice! Even if you’re not into sweeping, the forums are really fun to follow. Maybe that’s why I haven’t hit a HOF (hall of fame) win yet – I spend too much time in the forums! That’s ok. It’s one of my least problematic stress relievers.

Another stress reliever for me is books. I love to read. Right now I’m reading the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. It’s about time travel. Can you imagine traveling back to the 1700’s? I’m listening to the Meredith Gentry series by Lauren K. Hamilton. I really enjoy fantasy series’ but also read murder mystery, romance, and historical romances. Since I’ve changed jobs, I don’t have as much time in the car to listen, but still manage about 30 – 45 minutes per day.

Now, I’m going to watch one of the new shows I’m getting into – The Starter Wife. I really liked Debra Messing in Will and Grace, and she great in this one too!

Ok, so I have begun my weight loss / lifestyle change journey, so I should begin my blog journey also, right? I started WeightWatchers 3 weeks ago and have lost 5 pounds so far. My first goal is 15 lbs. On a positive note, I’m 1/3 of the way there! My total goal is to lose 45 lbs. We’ll see how it goes! I have to say, the meetings are nothing like I expected. There is no chanting or group hugs, just nice people sharing difficulties and suggestions. I also love the online eTools. I use the point tracker and put in everything I eat or drink. The hardest for me has been cutting down on soda and chocolate. One of the main rules is not to deprive yourself, just consider portion. I’m working hard to just have one soda a day, if that. Again, we’ll see. Coca Cola has been my weight loss downfall before, LOL!

So it begins . . .